Spring In My Step

Spring is here!  I dont care if New England threw a 35 degree curve ball this morning.  I've retired my winter coats until next year and have asked Meesh to dust off the ol BBall.  Spring means the snow has melted off the public courts and I'm ready to resume as the Judge, Juror, and Executioner.

 
Every spring I hit the concrete parquet to work on my broke jumper and invite the local joeys to a few BLOCK parties. 
Not even a spring time shoulder surgery in '09 could keep me from ringing in the season w/ deep threes. 
I was spotted working on my lefthanded layups while my right arm was in a sling, I was told it was the most depressing/least motivating image that persons ever seen.


I thought it might be fun to challenge the fellow CBers to a 3v3 game but before doing so wanted to write down my scouting predictions and each member's seed in a draft of 6. 

Elise the Beast- Easy E is definitely the reckless hooper of the group.  She only plays at one speed because she's never had time to learn a jump stop.  Some people would attribute her drive on the court to great tenacity while others call her reckless.  I heard that she fouled out of 50 % of the games she played last year...4th overall pick

KRo- Not sure what to expect from Ro.  If theres one thing I would guarantee she brings to the court it would be a full arsenal of character breaking smack talk.  This girl will most definitely bring tears to M's eyes by the end of the first quarter.  As a result I wont even care that her outside game is broke...2nd overall pick 

M- I had the advantage of playing hoops w/ this joker last Spring.  He brings quick feet and hands to the courts so you can consider him an asset on D.  Offensively he is at best an aweful dribbler.  He also likes to live on the perimeter and heave rain makers towards the peach basket...3rd overall pick

Meesh - All I need to know about Meesh' game is that she listens to Eminem when shes angry.  In other words, shes "that guy."  The absolute hack at your gym who's always reffin the game and calling their own fouls.  She'll shoot 25 free throws in a pick up game while knocking down 5.  White CBS announcers would call her "crafty."...5th overall pick

Z- Z's bringing the eastern european game to the table.  You know what that means...she's a flopper.  Gotta be careful when you're driving to the bucket against her.  While floppers can make big plays in organized games, I aint got time for it on the streets....6th overall pick

-McQ

(PS: I'm going ahead and being modest here ranking myself as the #1 overall pick.  No one in the house has the strength or footspeed to stop me from rebounding my own missed layups as many times as I want.)

Bikini Season

Growing up in a house full of guys I never realized the havoc Spring wreaks on women.  You see, my meat head friends and I always associated Spring with good things like Baseball, Barbeques, and if we were lucky the Skirt Home Opener. (That really warm day randomly forecasted in late March/early April where girls bust out their mini's)
Spring has always been a happy time of year for me so you'll have to excuse my ignorance when I heard about the horrors the season brings to the opposite sex.  Little did I know that Spring meant Bikini Season was looming like an Asteroid the size of Texas.  Which, apparantly, is a bad thing?

Luckily for you, our doomed reader, I learned some insights last night on how you can combat this impending season. 

• Start a new training regiment

The girls threw around the idea of hot yoga because they heard you only had to go once and you could lose 5 lbs!!  Granted, this only works if you fully commit and dehydrate yourself to the point of passing out.
They also discussed the possibilities of joining a club wrestling team.  "We'd have such great bodies the guys would just ignore our cauliflower ears."

• Consider a Crash Diet

Everyone knows if you want to lose weight you have to change your eating habits.  Portion control is key.  If you're hungry because that domino sized block of cheese you had for breakfast isnt holding you over then drink a glass of water!  If you're still hungry squeeze a lemon in that glass of water and shut the hell up. 
Another fun trick I learned last night was if you drench your dinner in hot sauce you'll be less likely to eat that entire avocado...

• MOTIVATION

This last point is simple.  Think of the one reason why youre looking to drop those lb's and encorporate it into your everyday life.  If you really want to get to the root cause then you should be completely honest with yourself.  For example, if your boyfriend owns a shirt that says "No Fat Chicks" and that makes you nervous then I suggest you print that off and paste it to your cubicle wall. 


Happy Bikini Season,

McQ