I did not
grow up around here. I have no idea how to act when I am expected to go to work
when there are four inches of snow on the ground and I am pretty sure that the
wind classifies this “winter storm” as a blizzard.
Anyway, last night, because
of my inability to parallel park (I am not only a woman but I also grew up in
corn fields and foresaw no need in my life to learn to), I parked Adeline the
Adventure Mobil on the main thoroughfare of Somerville. I decided that, before
she was completely buried, I should move her onto our side street.
It only took
me 10 minutes of numbing cold to get the seemly feet of snow off of her body (only
to find my already smashed mirror completely turned the wrong way) and then I
drove her away. It was magical at first, her all-wheel drive caressing the
snowy roads. I turned up the street and things were going well. I skidded a
little at the top of the hill and then turned to go down our one way street. Note:
this street is at the top of the hill. I started down the hill.
A little skidding.
Undercontroll. No, wait. A LOT OF SKIDDING. A PHONE POLE. I HAVE NO CONTROL OF THIS CAR. I’M MOVING BACK TO
THE COUNTRY. ADELINEEEEE. E-BREAK? PUMP THE BREAK? STEER INTO IT? NO IDEA! TRY TO PULL INTO
A DRIVE WAY. SKID SIDEWAYS. MISS PHONE POLE. Pull to the side. Put on e-break.
Get out. Lock door. Leave car at the TOP of the hill.
Can someone please teach
me how to A. parallel park and B. Drive in the snow?
KRo
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