Valentines Day Agenda

A temporary employee who used to work in my department once pointed a finger at me and said the following...
"He's the competitive asshole jock!"
The poor woman was fired shortly after her outburst and is most likely spending the rest of her days w/ her two cats, Butterscotch and Sunshine, but thats neither her nor there. 
I guess my point is that I am in fact competitive.  I'm so competitive I'm willing to crown myself this years winner of Valentines Day.
Now, I'm not just declaring myself the winner because I'm a crotchety 25 year old single man who thinks calling himself a winner will make him feel happy on Valentines Day.  No, I'm going to win Valentines Day because I'll be approaching it from a different angle, one that defenses (feelings) can't prepare for.  I'll be making Valentines Day into a man's day.  I will refer to Valentines Day as Thursday.  I will leave the bathroom door open while I relieve my bladder.  I'll pan fry a steak in butter and eat it w/o a side of greens.  Will there be flowers? Absolutely not! (I will however light a pine scented candle and hope to catch Hitch on TBS.)
 

 xoxo

McQ

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